What Got Me Through

Psalm 16:1 from 
Inspire Psalms 

During this month of Thanksgiving, my family and I remember the passing of my late husband, which was 5 years ago. After the doctors told me he was terminal and needed to be transferred to hospice, shock, disbelief, and profound sorrow overtook me. His 70th birthday was just 2 days earlier and in 3 weeks we had expected to celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. 

It is now 5 years since he quietly slipped away to Heaven aboard the transport ambulance taking him to hospice. The walk to my car after the doctors gave me the diagnosis was only 24 hours before he was taken from us. Quoting TV star Kathy Lee Gifford, when her husband had died suddenly, she said God "took his breath away." That's what happened to Tom. In the blink of an eye, he was deeply inhaling the glorious atmosphere of Heaven.

I cried daily for months and for a year I could hardly articulate verbally what had happened. It was uncanny how my voice left me when I tried to speak of his death. I lost 20 pounds and dropped down two clothing sizes. In addition, there have been some unexpected  relationship losses. I learned that grief affects people differently and it's best to let people process in their own way and on their own timeline.

But here I am, 5 years later, still alive, breathing, eating, sleeping, playing, and laughing. I've gained back the 20 pounds.😏 New relationships (including a new husband!), travel, and abundant provisions for my well-being are all strong in my life. God has blessed me far beyond what I could have imagined.

What got me through? It was God, of course, through family, friends, music, good food, church, routines, a "weighted blanket" (Google "what is the purpose of a weighted blanket"), time, prayer, and scripture. 

Inspire Psalms

While Tom was still in the hospital, my long-time friend, Sue, sent me this coloring book. I discovered comfort can be found with coloring illustrations that accompany Bible verses. While colored pencils filled in the flowers and curlicues, my thoughts pondered God's Word. It was my life-line to sanity, which felt as though it was hanging by a thread at times.

When I realized how helpful the focus on scripture was to me, I wrote many verses on large pieces of paper and hung them all over the house, literally. I was living all by myself now, so I reasoned I could do whatever I wanted. In every room I used pins, clothespins, tape, or just leaned up against other things the pages of verses that gave comfort, instruction, and peace. 

Scripture tells us of its power because it is literally God speaking to us. While I did not know (at the time) why this was happening to me, I did experience comfort time and again and again and again as I focused on those powerful words.

People will say it was my faith that got me through. Of course it did but the rock upon which I rested that faith was the repetitious reading, singing, speaking, and praying the very words of God. 

The single verse that ministered to me the very most has been this:

So do not fear,

for I am with you;

do not be dismayed,

for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with

My righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

I especially like the phrase: I will... help you. And He did!

So although this month is a tender time for me, it has become a time of praise and thanksgiving to God for being true to His Word. 

Cece Winans
youtube cece winans the goodness of god

Until next time, grace and peace. May your Thanksgiving be a blessed time!

I'm taking a break through Thanksgiving. I'll see you after that!