Frank Responses to Life Circumstances

This week's Hodgepodge questions stirred up some observations on life from my perspective as a senior citizen. 

Click here if you want to join with your blog.

1. What's one piece of advice you would give a recent or soon-to-be graduate? 

Every choice or decision we make in life has the potential of life-altering and life-long consequences, so choose wisely and don't be in too big of a hurry. 

2. May 15th marks the birth date of L. Frank Baum, author of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. At this point in time are you more in need of brains, courage, heart, or a trip back home? Explain. (responding to all 4 options)

Brains: I could always use more brains!! 🤔 

Courage: In the past 5+ years, I have been challenged like never before. Although I've had a relationship with Jesus Christ since I was a little girl, the biggest lesson I've learned in recent years is that God wants me to trust His character. No matter what I'm facing, I can be confident that God is in control.

Heart (which I'm translating to "love"): the older I get, the more I am profoundly impressed with God's love for me when I mess up. 

Therefore, there is now no condemnation 

for those who are in 

Christ Jesus.

Romans 8:1 NIV

A trip back home: Where is home for me? Both my father's career and that of my first husband moved our family many times across the USA. Currently in my grief journey, I have no desire to go back to previous residences.  Social media does a good job of keeping me in touch with family and friends where I used to live. 

Where is my home? Heaven, of course, as the old song says, "This world is not my home. I'm just a-passin' through." 

downtown where I currently live
(Internet photo)

3.  "There's no place like home" is an oft repeated line from Baum's book. When was the last time you felt the truth of that statement? 

😅 Traffic where I live in Florida has increased greatly in recent years, as well as the number of crazies behind the wheel. My county was the fastest-growing metro area in the USA in 2025. Many times, as we pull into the garage, I sing aloud to Gary, "Hey, it's good to be back home again!" (from John Denver's song titled, "Back Home Again.")

4. May is National BBQ Month...do you own a grill? Who does the grilling at your house? What's your favorite thing to throw on the grill? What's the last thing you grilled? 

The gas grill sat in our lanai for a long time. It was a lot of bother to wheel it out onto the patio, so eventually I convinced Gary to get rid of it. He has a counter-top electric grill that is the perfect size for our meals. But truth be told, we use the hot air fryer for things we used to grill and that's even easier to clean!

As I've said many times before, Gary is the primary cook in this household (I bake and make salads). 

My favorite things that he grills are salmon fillets and steak. Salmon was the last thing he grilled.

5. What's a memory you replay in your head when you need a little joy? 

Can you handle a real honest answer to this? It's the first time Gary kissed me.

6. Insert your own random thought here. 

As a tag-on to the previous question, our anniversary is this week! 

We had a short courtship, but when you're as old as we are, there is no time to waste! 😆

Until I arrived at these recent chapters in my life story,  I had not given thought to widowhood or second marriages, blended families and so forth. Such life conditions ushered in (irreverently at times) a newborn sensitivity to experiences that were previously distant from me. 

From the outset Gary and I shared with each other who we are, where we've been,  how we got to where we are and how we felt about all of that. Something he said really sunk into my head: "If you've not walked in my shoes, don't judge me." 

I was also very impressed with how the lessons of life molded him into the man he is now. I said at the beginning and I still say it often, "You know stuff!" He replies that you don't get to his age without learning things. My response to that is always the same, "I love a mature man!" (and it's true)

the day we met with our mutual friend (white sweater)
who very purposely introduced us to each other.

"Walking in my shoes..." that statement came alive for me as I faced the dilemmas of my circumstances, and sometimes found no easy answers. After my late husband's fairly sudden death, a lot of things clamored for my attention. As I learned, often we really don't know what we would do until confronted with issues.. Sometimes what we do is different from what we might have assumed before it all came about.

But here we are, four years later and more happy with each passing day. He still makes me laugh, and holds stronger than ever to his commitment to me. I marvel that the Lord has given us this opportunity for such happiness after the deep sorrows we experienced before our introduction to each other.

I think of the verse in Matthew 7:1 that says, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged." This is instruction, of course, to not be a harsh critic of others or we may find ourselves acting out the same behavior of those we are criticizing. 

But I now I look at it from another perspective: "If you are faced with similar circumstances, you may be surprised what your response will be. Don't be real hard over." One pastor has said, "I've had to eat crow boiled, baked, fried, and steamed. None of it tastes good!"

We had a brief courtship, a private ceremony, and later, a small gathering of neighbors to help us celebrate with cake and champagne. 

We are grateful how things have turned out. The Lord has allowed us to enjoy this season of our lives together. 

"And so together they built
a life they loved" 

Until next time, grace and peace.

Barbara

The Saturday of Mother's Day Weekend

 

from Gary

Mother's Day weekend is here but like my birthday, the observance commenced before the actual date on the calendar. 

left to right: The Lil' Red-haired Girl, the mule, and Jr.

It began when Jr. (that's my son with a wife, 2 3 cats, and a mule -- yes!!) texted on Tuesday to set up a FaceTime visit on Mother's Day afternoon. A day or two after that, the postman delivered an envelope from the same son. I saved it to open on Sunday. 😉

Jr. was fighting a stomach bug.. In telling me about that, he remembered times when he would be sick as a little boy and how I would take care of him. He said he was grateful. That was a loooong time ago. I am grateful that he remembered.

Gary went to get a haircut on Thursday and came back with an armload of flowers and a plastic box with 2 Apple Fritters. (our habit is when one or both of us go to Publix, we always check the bakery tables for our favorite chocolate eclair donuts. This time they were out, so Apple Fritters were the delicious Plan B.) While he and I have not produced any children together, he still chose to honor me with the flowers. ❤️

Rice Krispy Treats

Recently I mentioned making Rice Krispy Treats for Gary. At least two of my readers commented that they like to include peanut butter and/or chocolate chips to make this delight even better. So this past week I made more, substituting creamy peanut butter for some of the butter. Oh yeah, this was a hit!

On Friday afternoon our doorbell rang. When I pulled the door open, nobody was there, but this delightful package of chocolate-covered strawberries had been left -- addressed to me!! Our kids on Gary's side had sent them. I'm just their step-mom, and yet they showed me this kindness! ❤️

They are delicious and disappearing fast. Need I say more?

This is a good time to share some of my family photos and "mom memories." Some of these pictures I've posted before. Here is my mother:

Mama

Taken in 2015 for the pictorial directory at her church, the year she turned 90, she had maintained her good looks and beautiful hair. As we are aging, both Sister and I have chosen to not color our hair in part, because Mama's softly graying hair was so beautiful clear up to the day she was ushered into Heaven in 2024.

Left to right: me, Mama, and Sister

I know I've posted this snapshot before. It was taken when I was 7 or 8 years old. I always smile to see the skinny sticks sister and I had for legs in those days! I'm pretty sure we are dressed in our Easter clothes. This was in upstate New York. 

Having been uprooted from Tulsa, Oklahoma to New York City, the move was a big culture shock to all, especially my mother. Daddy was a co-pilot with American Airlines at the time. The move to New York City was his first assignment, but after only 3 months, he secured a transfer from La Guardia to Buffalo. The big changes of these relocations were a little easier to bear for my mother after that, but there was still all that snow to shovel! ⛄️

Regarding the cultural shock from Oklahoma to New York in the mid-1950s, that first year I went to 2 different elementary schools. In both of them, there came a day when the stress of adjustment and just being in school all day proved too much for me. I upchucked my breakfast on two different occasions right there in the class room, thoroughly soiling my clothes! Both times the school nurse called my mother to come get me. She brought me clean clothes and took me home.

The first time, she had to walk to the school and walk me home because we had only one car at the time and it was at the airport parking lot. 

I don't remember for sure about the second barfing episode. I think by then Mama and Daddy had figured out that in spite of the distance from our house to the airport, it was preferable for her to keep the car when he was flying. 

Another memory I have of my mother was that on extremely short-notice, she had to homeschool me. In the first 3 months of class in my first school in NYC, reading instruction had not begun. But when we got to the second school, that class was well ahead and I was woefully behind! 

My teacher gave Mama the materials and the instructions how to get me started at home. Christmas break from school that year was a very stressful time for both of us as we bumbled through our new teacher-student relationship. I am thankful my mother took up this task when she felt very unprepared and would have rather focused on a lot of other things during the Christmas season.

Mama and my Staff

On a very cheerful note, my mother loved pretty things and had a wonderful imagination. She enjoyed our dolls and playing pretend. I held onto my love of dolls well into adulthood. My long-time readers know about my "Staff." I used to write about them on my blog. When we drove from Colorado to Illinois to visit Mama, she enjoyed it when I brought my staff with me and played along with the fun.

In my school-girl years, Mama taught me to sew my clothes. In adulthood that skill moved to making doll clothes for my daughter's dolls and later for my granddaughters' dolls. I also made many, many quilts. It was my pleasure to teach my mother how to sew a quilt on one of her visits to see me!

Of my staff pictured above, I sewed clothing for all of them, and even created for myself Mandy Sue (wearing the rose-colored sun glasses) and Eaves Dropping (the smallest doll wearing a newspaper Yankee Doodle hat. She was the newspaper columnist, hence the hat.)

me with my 3 adult children, their spouses,
and a total of 11 grandchildren; 
photo taken the day of my late husband's funeral in 2020
(Note: the shortest people are now much taller!)

If you were to ask me, I would tell you that in my opinion, motherhood is the hardest job in the world. Of course, I am biased, and many women have more reasons upon which to make that statement than I do. But when taken seriously as a god-given assignment, it's very challenging.

My children (and their spouses) all turned out well, thanks to the Lord, but parenthood is not for the faint of heart. Joys, as well as the unexpected, make up this assignment. Some of us just feel like we are "winging it" most of the time. 

Motherhood kept me on my knees and I'm still in that humble position now that some of my grandchildren are well into adulthood. Even when they "leave and cleave" in their own marriages, emotional strings are still there.

neighborhood flyer

A couple of days ago was The National Day of Prayer. It was my privilege to participate in the observance here in my +55 community where we prayed for families, churches, government, the workplace, education, military and first responders, the arts and media, and our county. 

souvenir sticker given out
for the National Day of Prayer

On this Mother's Day weekend, may we all continue to pray for these needs as well as for ourselves. We just can't do life without the Lord's help.

Until next time, grace and peace.

Barbara

Lakeland Daycation

Here's something to ponder, if an enjoyable adventure lasts only about 9 hours, can it classify as a vacation? Before you think too hard, let me just go ahead and answer that. YES!

This week we drove about 2 hours south to visit our blogger friend, Terri, who writes at Your Friend From Florida (click on the title to see her blog). This was my 3rd trip over the years to see her environment; Gary had not been there before. Believe me, it's a very pleasant place to visit more than once.

Terri studying the menu

We drove to Terri's home, were introduced to her 2 cats (who gave us reasonable acceptance considering we were strangers to them and tend to be more "dog people" than "cat people." 👍🏻) We talked about the drive and then, per our agreement on prior text messages regarding the trip, Terri took us to lunch at Metro Diner. 

Be sure to note the "diner" decor in the above snapshot: black-and-white tile floor, chrome and leather stools at the counter, 50's style light fixtures... "Where the locals eat".

Both Terri and I ordered the San Francisco style of Eggs Benedict (which included avocado with ample Hollandaise sauce 😋). Gary got a chicken dinner, two-thirds of which came home with us in a box for our supper!

Gary, me, and Terri

I wonder. When restaurant managers are interviewing potential wait staff, is it mentioned how often they may get asked to snap pictures of the customers?!! 🤔

one of Lakeland's many famous swans

With a very satisfying lunch behind us, Terri filled my request to see the swans at Lake Morton. As history states, Queen Elizabeth sent swans to Lakeland years ago where they have multiplied over the years and delighted many visitors. 

a black swan

There are black swans, too, that are very bit as beautiful as the snowy white ones. Terri cautioned that the black swans are more aggressive or territorial than the white, particularly with regard to humans and other birds.

Internet photo

A nest of 4 eggs was easily seen from our standpoint. We did not get close; I took the (below) picture using the zoom on my phone camera. Typically the mother swan does not leave the nest except to feed and to bathe; Mr. Swan is usually nearby and humans should not approach.

swan nest with eggs

There was a caged-in area where mama swans can be with their young in a protected environment. Due to the cage, it was hard to get as clear of a photo as I would have liked. Look to the left of the large white female to see the babies just a foot or two away from her. You can't tell in this picture, but their feathers were fluffy. Note that from their waterfront location, they have easy access for swimming lessons.

Terri gave us each a plastic cup filled with bird food that looked like dog food (kibble). I thought I had taken a picture of my cup but it was kinda tricky holding that and trying to take pictures, so I guess that didn't happen. Had I put the cup on the ground, it would have been quickly emptied!

Gary with the ducks

There were many kinds of birds on the shore of Lake Morton. The ducks were the first to spy Gary with food.

Terri

The Ibis and ducks saw free food in Terri's hands, which led to more birds flying in to feed.

I have to say, tossing the food out to these birds was a lot of fun. Unlike the tendencies of human children, not a one of these birds refused the fare with negative comments. Wherever we tossed the kibble, there was an immediate rush to gobble it up. They were at our feet, not attacking or otherwise bothering us at all. I could feel their gratitude!

Ibis at my feet

The Ibis, in particular, held my attention. Their curved beaks are dark-colored, which I assumed was due to pecking into the dirt for food. While that may be true in part, my research tells me their beaks typically change in color depending on their age and during breeding season.

I have to say, feeding the birds was the highlight of my day.

Anhinga

We saw at least one Anhinga (bird). Their feathers are not waterproof, so they will stand with their wings spread out, making them to look like they are drying out their armpits!! They do that to dry their feathers. This enables them to maintain buoyancy and to prepare for flight. 

Some 40 years ago when I was living in the Washington DC area, the newspaper published this silly little ditty about ducks. I quoted it to this duck as it approached me: (suspend your sensibilities and just read it aloud as you see it)

M R ducks.

M R not.

O S A R!

C M wangs?

L I B!

M R ducks!

Leaving Terri and Gary behind, I had walked some distance along the shore with hopes to get closer to more of the swans, but apparently they were in another area. As I approached my human companions, I saw that the birds were hopeful for more kibble, but by then it was all gone. 

Terri snapped this picture of us and then it was time to see the AGB Museum (formerly the Polk Museum of Art), which was nearby. Terri worked there for many years and has employee friends who greet her every time she brings visitors.

Internet photo

The short drive to the museum was beautiful, with large trees, green lawns, flowers, lakes, birds, the campus of South Florida University, architecture by Frank Lloyd Wright, and many, many of 1920s craftsman-style bungalow houses. Terri said many of them have been renovated, which seems good since their designs are 100 years old! My goodness, I would love to wander through these houses and claim one for us; but that is a highly, highly unlikely idea. This style just looks like "home" to me. 

The Brown Bungalow, 2013-2017,
for which my blog was named

Some of my long-time readers may remember that years ago this blog was named, "The Brown Bungalow" for the house I had in Castle Rock, Colorado. Now returning to the present day...

me with an art piece
made with a lot of pink

Once inside the museum (where admission is free!!), "the facilities" were found. We wandered on the first floor to see creative art from several ages and civilizations. The afternoon was getting away from us and we had some 90 miles to travel before supper, so we did not make it to the upper floors.

However, the gift shop could not be left out, and even more so because Terri still has a discount that she shared with me. My purchases were narrowed down to these 2 refrigerator magnets:

a bit of beaded art work

And this, which just made me chuckle:

I feel sure this is a true statement for many of my readers..... Carbs do have a comforting ability when life hits hard.

We expressed our thanks to Terri for showing us such a good time (she's a wonderful hostess and tour guide), hugged her goodbye, and then headed north up to our part of the state. One stop was made along the way for soft serve vanilla ice cream cones at a Burger King.

When we pulled into the garage, we had one of those "when life hits hard" moments -- the semi-annual arrival of Love Bugs is here. Blessedly, this curse lasts only about a month (TWICE a year), but when they meet their demise on the windshields and paint of vehicles, the dead bodies of these bugs are a bummer to remove. Their chemistry eats into the car paint, so it behooves us to remove them as soon as possible. 

Gary cleans the love bugs off the car;
note the front bumper.

A combination of liquid insect remover and scrubbing with fabric softener sheets gets the job done, along with a determined amount of elbow grease.

Aside from the love bugs, it was a most enjoyable daycation with a focus on friendship, shared experiences, and beauty in several forms. We went, we saw, we enjoyed, and then we got to sleep in our own bed at night!

Regarding our enjoyment of nature, these words from the Old Testament book of Job phrase it well:

But ask the animals,

and they will teach you,

or the birds in the sky,

and they will tell you;

or speak to the earth,

and it will teach you,

or let the fish in the sea inform you.

Which of all these does not know that 

the hand of the Lord has done this?

Job 12:7-9 NIV

Until next time, grace and peace.

Barbara