My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26

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Saturday, June 13, 2026

Summer Afternoon Musings

 


Although summer doesn't officially begin until something like June 21st, for all intents and purposes, it is in full swing here in Florida. That is probably true just about everywhere: summer begins "unofficially" on Memorial Day weekend. 

Then it seems to sort of end, in a sense, just a few days after the 4th of July when the stores begin advertising their school supplies merchandise, with some schools beginning the first week or two of August!! What is left of actual summer is a lot of very hot and humid days, and here in Florida, a wariness regarding the possibility of hurricanes. 


Since I much prefer cooler temps over HOT!, my survival philosophy for Florida summers is to not go out of my way to spend time outdoors (without being unreasonable, you understand). Just like I used to stay  indoors in the coldest of weather when I lived in Colorado and South Dakota, here in summer I station myself inside, or on the lanai with a ceiling fan AND a tower floor fan blowing directly on my skin. 


We do ride our bicycles in the summer, heat and all. An interesting observation I've learned in the 4+ years that we've been riding, even on the hottest and most humid of mornings, once we begin pedaling down the street, the movement of air over our skin is delightful. We don't think about the heat until we stop for water (which we do twice in our 5-mile route). 

(I've edited the headstones for privacy)

Another survival habit in this climate is to, as much as possible, get our appointments, shopping, and other running around town done before lunch, when the greatest heat of the day is still ramping up. 

This includes our trips to the cemetery to "visit" our people. My late husband and Gary's late wife are buried in the same general area of the Veterans' cemetery, although far enough from each other that we reach both via car. We usually go to Tom's grave first because his headstone is in the very last row at the back of his section. Unfortunately the trees are too far away to comfortably sit in shade. (we didn't get to choose the grave sites; you accept what you are given)

Edith, by contrast, is buried in the second row from the road and very tall, shady oak trees are nearby. So after "visiting" Tom, we go to Edith's place and sit in our canvas lawn chairs in the shade. It's quiet and peaceful at both locations, but the shade tends to win out, of course. 

What do we do at the grave sites? I wonder how people would answer that, but it's really a very private question, so I don't inquire. I will say that visiting Tom's grave is always an opportunity for me to, once again, sincerely thank God for getting me through this far. Psalm 3:3 is often the foundation for my prayer: "Thou, Lord, art a shield for me, my glory, and the lifter of my head."

I love to watch Gary at Edith's grave. Although we found new love in each other after the passing of our spouses, his love and respect for Edith is very apparent. It's beautiful. And the blessings of my years with Tom continue long after his passing.

(I've edited her headstone for privacy)

We usually take flowers that we've bought at the floral counter of the grocery store while en route to the cemetery. For the trip a few days ago, we did not do that. The weather is so hot that the flowers would not have lasted the afternoon before wilting and looking more sad than had we not made the effort. The above picture is from our visit earlier this spring. 

To help with the heat and glare, we took our wide-brimmed hats!! "Hat's a good idea!" 🙂

our hats on the back seat of our car

It's good to take time out to "visit" our people like this, just as it's good to observe holidays that remind us of our faith, those who have given their lives for our freedoms, and the birthday of our nation! We must not take any of these special people and times for granted.


Well, life goes on. I remember after Tom's passing the song made famous by Skeeter Davis came to mind:

Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said 'goodbye.'

As profoundly sad as grief is, life has continued and somehow the hurt is less with time and God's grace. It has taught me so much that I simply was unaware of until I had to experience it myself. Good, bad, ugly, and delightful. The world kept on turning with days morphing into night and then back to daylight again. Bills had to be paid, groceries needed to be bought, and the car gas tank had to be filled. 

Relationships were affected in ways I did not anticipate. Now, years that have passed, I understand that when massive changes come to us, we all respond in our own ways. Some of that is good and helpful; some is not so good. 

In a very simple way of explaining it, some people can tolerate liver and onions and some of us gag at the very smell of it cooking, let alone taking a bite of it. I'm learning I need to allow people the freedom to be who they are and to forgive those who are not so open to allowing me to be who I am. It's just life. We all have feelings and our own ways of coping.

Disrespect and true harm are not acceptable, of course, but we just need to let people be who they choose to be. We are all working things out in our minds and with time, patience, and choosing to be considerate, even liver and onions MIGHT become more appealing.


On our bike ride this morning, this turtle was lounging in the very middle of the asphalt multi-purpose path. I stopped to take a couple of pictures.

Pig-nosed Turtle, very long neck;
can give a very painful bite 

He is not the most handsome of God's creatures, but to his credit, he did not shy away from allowing me this "photo op," not behaving badly in any way. We did not touch him but just marveled at his "hose nose," and then left him alone. With reference to my earlier words, we just let him be who he chose to be. 


Our progress on the puzzle is good. I added several pieces and then Gary took over. I think he's done more than I have. It's a wonderful diversion for the mind when we have exhausted our thoughts about everything else. 

current Indoor status at 4:30pm

The TV said our "feels like" temp today would be close to 103 degrees. It's time for us to think about what we might want for a light supper, which means we'll close the windows here in the lanai, turn off the fans and go back into the AC for the evening. 

I'll close with the words to a song our junior church choir learned when I was in the 4th grade. They have both instructed me and comforted me in the hardest of times.

Trust and obey
for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus,
but to trust and obey.

Until next time, [stay cool] in grace and peace.
Barbara




15 comments:

Pamela M. Steiner said...

Trust and Obey is one of my favorite old hymns, and a great attitude for life. "For there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey!" Amen.
Thank you for sharing some special moments from your days. Your visits to your former spouses' graves is very precious. I think it's really nice that they are both buried in the same place, which makes for a very thoughtful time together for both of you. I also love that you are doing your morning bike rides regardless of the warm weather out there. Yes, I am sure it is cooler to be breezing along on a bike than sitting still somewhere in the heat. We try to take our walks early in the morning as well, but today started out at 76 degrees at 6:00 a.m., so I know it was much warmer by the time we could've actually gotten out the door. We didn't take a walk today, as we had other things that needed to be done. It is VERY sultry out there this evening. Sounds like thunder as I write, so I hope it's about to rain and cool things off a bit. I appreciated all that you had to share today. I do pray for those who have chosen to go a different way rather than learn to accept and continue in love and grace. Never give up praying! We all have situations like that in our lives, and prayer is often the only way to handle it...but that's really the best way. I hope you all have a lovely rest of your weekend. (((HUGS)))

Mari said...

I appreciate the way you and Gary visit the cemetery together. You both honor your first spouses well. Your thoughts on how people handle things are very good, everyone is different.
I like the turtle, even though he's different too! :)

🌺 Debby/From My Shasta Home said...

I've never seen a turtle like that before. Interesting.
I'm glad that you both are able and willing to go together to the cemetery which is very touching to me.
It was 106 today here with 10% humidity. With the exception of a early morning walk, I've stayed indoors. By July, I'll have cabin fever. 😩

Linda said...

I really love reading that you visit Tom and Edith. I know, even after these few years, the pain is still there of losing Tom and probably the same for Gary with Edith. I truly appreciate your words on all of this...and it makes me sad I never met Tom, but ever so happy that I met Gary. I fully understand what you are saying about this visit and the pain etc... wishing you a beautiful evening...oh and the bedside clock in our bedroom pretty much says the same thing--the humidity in the house states 69%. sigh...yes, summer is here.

Victor S E Moubarak said...

Thank you for frequently talking about Christian themes on your posts. Your Blog is a beacon in a dark world wide web.
God bless.

Martha Jane Orlando said...

I love that you always write from your heart, Barbara, and aren't afraid to share your true feelings about life and love. Honoring Tom and Edith as you both do reflects the deep love you shared and treasured. May God bless you always!

Robin in Virginia said...

What a beautiful song (and reminder) Trust and Obey is! Interesting looking turtle you saw and what a great analogy you used. I like how you both honor Tom and Edith and your words are truly inspiring, Barbara. Have a blessed day.

ellen b. said...

I've never seen that brand of turtle and although I'm happy to know it exists, it is okay if I never see one again. :) We are moving into summer type weather today and tomorrow which means I'll be spending a lot of time inside with the air conditioning. Puzzle sharing is fun. I'm working on a new one right now. Trust and obey is a favorite and a necessity! Enjoy the new week coming up.

Linda's Relaxing Lair said...

Dear Barbara, your photos are lovely. One of my favourite hymns is Trust and Obey. Another one is There is a God, He is alive, in Him we live, and we survive! From dust our God created man!
The turtle is so nice to see!
I do like to visit cemeteries not just to see the plots of my lost loved ones, but because I find them peaceful and a reminder of how short life is and to always cherish each moment we have.

Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you.

Terri D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Terri D said...

Sorry we can't just edit a comment!! That is a great hymn. I sang the words, and thank you for the memory!! I don't visit Joe's ashes at the cemetery often. I go two or three times a year on my own. If family is here and they want to visit, I take them. There is no place to sit and there is no shade. As you mentioned, we all deal our losses differently. I am more comforted by the memories that surround me at home. It's also weird seeing my name under his, though I am comforted knowing our remains will reside side-by-side one day. I certainly trust that I will see him again!

I walk with my dear neighbors most mornings, before it gets too oppressive outside, but am ready for a shower when we finish our walks! After that, I am quite happy to stay in the AC!! Summer in Florida! I enjoyed my visit here today, dear friend! Have a blessed week ahead!! xo

Joyce said...

Trust and Obey is one of my favorite hymns. You don't hear it sung very often anymore but it's timeless. As are most hymns in my opinion. I don't get to my dad's grave often, given the distance, but I enjoy sitting there and understand we all have thoughts and things to contemplate as we sit. Grief is complicated and you are so right about change and allowing people to be who. they are. That turtle is interesting. We have quite a few turtles here (they love sunning themselves on my neighbor jet ski dock) but I've never seen one like that. Have a nice week Barbara and stay cool!

Jeanette said...

I think it's wonderful how you and Gary spend time at the cemetery honoring your loved ones. That is a funny looking turtle.

Kim Carberry said...

I think Florida would be too hot for me, I would spend most of my time indoors too during the warmer months. It sounds like you have got the hang of dealing with the heat though.

Sandy said...

I have never seen a turtle like that.
I suppose living through the Florida LONG summer would be like living through a LONG winter in a state known for such. I think I can handle heat better than cold, but heat indexes in the 100's do bring me in during the hottest part of the day. I do think I get some sea breezes too.
Trust and obey are wise words and letting each work through their issues is wise too. IT is not easy though.

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