Celebrating the 4th of July 2024

 

a little sparkle added to the 
potted Mandevilla

Today I'm inspired by Billie Jo, a new blogging friend (for me). From her blog, Afternoon Coffee and Evening Tea, I'm responding to questions she has asked about favorite things related to this holiday….. To see her cheery blog, click on this link.

http://afternooncoffeeandeveningtea.blogspot.com/2024/07/this-or-that-fourth-of-july-edition.html

Here are my replies: 

1. Hot Dogs or Hamburgers? 

I enjoy both but today we’re having Bacon-Lettuce-Tomato Sandwiches with potato salad. For dessert, Gary is having chocolate cream pie and I'll slice into an apple pie, both courtesy of Publix. 

home fire works from a previous year

2. Celebrate at home or at the pool/beach/ park? 

We prefer quieter venues as we age, and since we’ve been out a lot lately, we plan to celebrate at home. Yesterday our retirement community had a golf cart parade that was well-done and very long. We don't have a golf cart, so we enjoyed watching them roll by.

fireworks with my 11 grandchildren,
when they were a lot younger

3. Fireworks live or on television? 

Even with the fun of the holiday, it is hot summertime here with sticky high humidity. The heat index (how hot it feels) for our town is forecasted to be well above 100 degrees today. We have brand new living room reclining love seats just steps from the kitchen and bathrooms. We’ll be watching fireworks on TV in total comfort.

very comfortable, much like
the seats in EPIC Theaters

4. Music playing during the live fireworks or just the ooohhs and aaahhhs? 

I do like music during fireworks with the William Tell Overture being a given, of course!! And for the last about 30 years, Lee Greenwood's God Bless the U.S.A.

5. Big shindig party or small family gathering? 

Just the two of us this year.

6. Watch Jaws or No Thank You? 

No desire here to watch Jaws. We will probably watch a patriotic holiday-themed movie this afternoon. I've got a stack of appropriate DVDs starring Harrison Ford and Tom Hanks, or perhaps Turner Classic Movies on TV will have something for us. At any time of the year, we lean toward patriotic, military, and historical themes (also a lot of westerns).

7. Wear special Red, White, and Blue clothes or whatever clothes are currently on top of the pile? 

Yesterday:

T-shirt from Hobby Lobby

Today:

purchased a long time ago
and saved for special occasions

8. You're a Grand Old Flag or Stars and Stripes Forever? 

Both!

Have a wonderful holiday as we enjoy the blessings others have won for us. May God bless their memories and inspire us all to be unselfish and brave for the sake of others.  

Until next time, grace and peace.

Messing With My Safe Place

 

Mandevilla beside our garage

A few weeks ago I asked Sue, who lives in "Tornado Alley," if she has designated a safe place in her home to seek refuge if there is a serious storm warning. Yes, she has given it some thought.

Gary and I have talked about this a couple of times where we live since tornados spawned by hurricanes can be a threat in our area. Our conclusion was that the best place in this house would be our master bedroom closet for the following reasons:

~ it's pretty much in the center of our house

~ water pipes are in the walls, thereby adding a little more stability to structure

~ the outer walls of the house are concrete block.

But of course, these are just precautions because storms can rise very quickly and getting to our safe place could be problematic for a lot of reasons.

Over the past month some of my other "safe places" have been threatened for a variety of reasons. To name a few (some more serious than others):

Personal appearance: an unsatisfactory haircut can mess with a gal's self-image and her standards of attractiveness.

Favorite recipe: counting on something that never fails to please.

Home improvements: while welcome, can disrupt normal routines.

Health diagnosis: can thrill or threaten calm 

Too much of anything can throw off equilibrium. Long held habits or traditions or even relationships may signal necessary change.

the calm scene as we enter and exit our neighborhood

Our current adventure has affected safe places within our house as new vinyl flooring is replacing (actually, installed on top of) the ceramic tile that came with the house in 2007. All floor surfaces with the exception of the two bedrooms and Gary's office (which are all carpeted) and the lanai are getting the new, beautiful improvement.

our choice: the two tiles in center of picture
in the flooring show room

We did our homework, asking our neighborhood FaceBook group for recommendations for flooring companies. Also Gary did a lot of research on the Internet before we began visiting show rooms.

our choice

We learned early on, to our surprise, that the "plank" look is currently more popular than the more "marbled" look we wanted. As attractive as that is, we felt the marbled designs befitted a more formal, Florida decor better.

front door entry and dining room
(before the new flooring)

As you can imagine, this is no small project. The installers would move the furniture back and forth as they worked, but before that it was up to us to remove the smaller pieces of furniture, knick knacks, the breakables in the china cabinet, and just in general, get things ready for the workmen.

the holding area

Much of what had to be removed from the work areas got carried to the lanai, which is also serving as our refuge while the installation is in process. 

some of our pretties

After so much of the never-used-anymore glassware was spread out before us, we decided it was time to "lighten the load." A combination of some of these things, as well as the contents of the upper kitchen cabinets, filled to the brim EIGHT boxes, which we loaded in the bed of our truck and hauled off to my favorite donation business.

Talk about dealing with one's comfort zones!! These pieces had their own stories, if they could speak, of wedding gifts, parties, get-well gifts, relationships come and gone, and so forth that fiddled with my thoughts as I handled them. 

Over the span of my adult years, I have been in the position of having to dispose of personal belongings and keepsakes for nearly half a dozen family members. My conclusion in these situations is to allow practicality to reign over sentimentality. 

For sure, sentimentality has its place for some measure of emotional stability, but it costs more time and space to store and delays the ultimate outcome -- the need to just get rid of it.

Now to address a "safe place" that is our refuge this week: my readers are very familiar with my frequent references to our afternoons spent in this "Florida Room" oasis:

lanai decorated with
Gary's marathon posters

How grateful I am for this "safe place" with its wicker furniture (more than what is pictured here), radio/CD/tape player with a very big collection of favorite tunes, a ceiling fan and a floor fan, and large windowed walls on two sides with views of pines, palms, bushes, flowers, and patio. There is no air conditioning out here (it's where I am as I compose this article) but fans are a huge help. (However, the humidity does make my fingers to kinda stick to the keys as I type on my lap top......🙄)

my study area in the guest room

Another "safe place" in our home is my study area. Much (but not all) of my studying, reading, bill-paying, and social media activities take place right here. Early in our relationship, I told Gary I needed a private place for my desk because daily devotional reading helps to center me for the rest of the day. He has generously supported that.

Even though I said the bedrooms are not getting new flooring, this particular room needs to have the carpet stretched, which is something these same workmen will do for us. So I've had to vacate this area, thereby dismantling my personal "safe place" temporarily. This is putting my memory to a test as I need to know where I've placed important items in the interim.

our garage

The actual flooring work began yesterday as a portion of our garage was taken over with equipment. In this picture the baseboards have been removed and carefully labeled so re-installation will be easier after the new tile is down. These boards will be painted, too.

old on the left, black fabric in center, new vinyl on the right

The laying of the new product began this morning. The black fabric is applied first, on top of the old tiles (which have been verified to be perfectly level/flat) and then the new tiles interlock with each other on top of the black material. NO GROUT! (yay!) 

today's lunch destination

While sequestered on the lanai late this morning, we were talking about some errands we needed to run. Gary suggested we get lunch while out.  Steak for him, baby back ribs for me.

this undisturbed "safe place".....
a good night's sleep!

We are doing very well through this big disruption in our home, even with the twinges on the emotions. Over all, of course, we are grateful to be able to do this, another home improvement. 

As I close with my habit of including applicable scripture, I don't mean to be melodramatic, but these phrases from Psalm 46 come to mind:

God is our refuge and strength....

though the earth be removed,

and though the mountains 

 carried into the midst of the sea;

though the mountains shake with

the swelling thereof....

The Lord of hosts is with us;

the God of Jacob is our refuge.

Until next time, grace and peace.

P.S. If you are able to comment, maybe you could share what is your "safe place."

A Story of Survival

hologram on window at
Jacksonville International Airport

Today's post will be memories from the past 7 years, punctuated with pictures. I have found that although the past is past, gentle re-visiting that past is normal and often is a good way to figure out what has happened so we can move forward.

borrowed from Pam at
Closed Doors, Open Windows

The past few days have lured my thoughts to a time in 2017 when my late husband and I began a much bigger adventure than we expected -- relocating ourselves (meaning since he was retired, there was no corporate employer to pay expenses) from Colorado to Florida. 

mug purchased at Jacksonville airport gift shop

The move was an uncharacteristically impulsive idea from my husband; but I (always up for adventure) eagerly agreed and in the span of just over two months from the suggestion to the moving van, the deed was done.

beach walk to the Atlantic

At the time we already had 14 family members living in Florida (which eventually increased to 19), but we chose to live hours away from them so as to not disturb their everyday lives with new expectations with our close proximity. 

Jacksonville Beach on the Atlantic Ocean

I was excited to live on an ocean coast since eight of my girlhood years were spent in California's Los Angeles, Orange County, and San Fernando Valley.

our house in Mandarin, Duval County

To be accurate, we did not buy a house on the beach, instead unloading our furniture some 30-minutes away by freeway. But this was still a huge change from living in Colorado's Front Range (for the geographically challenged, that means we had lived on the east side of the Rocky Mountains).

Dames Point Bridge

In addition to visiting the thundering ocean waves, Jacksonville provided us with many bridges across the St. Johns River, some quite high and breath-taking to traverse. 

This past week (even today) marks the 7th anniversary of that move to Jacksonville.

However, as can sometimes be the case with impulsive actions, a time comes when more pensive thoughts edge their way into reality. Jacksonville was a great place but for several reasons we decided to move a couple hour's drive south and west, more to the center of Florida's peninsula. Facing reality can usher in change, or at least, that's what happened with us.

my late husband (aka "Beloved" on my blog posts),
just under 2 months before his passing

Those who have been following my blogs for years know what came next. We had been in our new house in North Central Florida only 20 months when my husband suddenly passed away from COVID, along with a lot of other people. 

How does one describe how it feels to lose her mate from the past 50 years? In 2008 I took a very hard fall that shattered my left shoulder, requiring surgical replacement and a long recovery with permanent reduction in range of motion. For a time I could do extremely little with my left arm and hand. But I am right-handed, so my handicap did not leave me totally helpless.

first cemetery visit after headstone was installed; 
engraving in stone is intense, so final

But when Tom died, it was like I had lost my right arm completely; I was at a loss to do much more than dress myself and rummage through the fridge to find something to eat. The shock and helpless feelings were new and frightening, so unexpected.

one of my current reads

One could say I was in "good company" since the pandemic took many loved ones but since we had not lived here for all that long, my roots in this new community were shallow. Thank God for the friends and neighbors who did rise (very quickly even) to the occasion to minister to me. My family, still hours away, also spent a lot of time, money, and certainly emotional energy, to help me through the toughest experience of my 70 years of life thus far. I am deeply grateful. 

It was scripture, Bible verses, messages from Holy God Himself that helped me the most. I was living in a big house, alone, just me, so I could do anything I wanted. Typed verses in a very large font were taped to bathroom mirrors, plantation shutters, doors -- everywhere my eyes would see to minister to my broken heart.

a gift of verses from blogging friend,
Lea from Ciciscorner.com

While I had been through the loss of family and friends before that time, this was profound (to use a word from my GriefShare support group). Decisions I made in the ensuing months were a little like a child throwing darts and hitting marks in every direction labeled terrified, impulsive, thoughtful, smart, and a lot of places in-between. 

In all of this grief, I always knew God had not forgotten me. I accepted Him as my Savior and Lord at the tender age of six and had grown up in a very strong Christian family, so the Lord and I had a long history before this ever happened. But I did feel lost. 

a new favorite place:
Crumps' Landing June 20, 2024
Homosassa, Florida

Advancing now to a later chapter in my story ..... the passage of time has proven to me (very convincingly) that God never forgot me. It was just time, in His purpose for my life, to leave some things behind, change to other interests (even hobbies), other places, and other people. 

the day Natalie and Bryan 
introduced us

One day nearly a year to the day after Tom's passing, a friend introduced me to another of her hurting friends, a man who was widowed at just about the same time as me. There is the saying, "misery loves company," but for us it was a case of "I have a good idea of how you feel." Gary brought a smile to my face like nobody else could and he seemed to enjoy my company.

what was so funny?
I have no idea....

We found not only shared feelings but quickly learned we could make each other laugh loud and long. Our first outing together, which we now refer to as our first date, was a trip to the cemetery where our late spouses are both buried. As much as we still love them, we all understand the living need to continue doing just that -- living. 

visiting Edith's grave

We continue to visit the cemetery every month or so, usually taking florals with us. We sit at both locations in our lawn chairs, quietly sharing about the good times, absorbing nature's beauty that comforts pain.

going to the Christmas party

Not long after that first date, we dressed festively for a neighbor's Christmas party. And my long-time readers know all about the classic car in Gary's garage that just added more fun to the first blush of our romance.

Us with Gary's 2002 Ford Thunderbird,
 from camera of blogging friend,
Terri at Your Friend From Florida

Good times had come back into both of our lives, peppered with the occasional reminders of real life. Even before we sealed our commitment to each other with rings, Gary had to take me to the Emergency Room twice, and in later months I've sat beside his hospital bed three times. (not to worry, we both have recovered) As my blogging friend Linda likes to say, "Just keepin' it real!" But these ups and downs have verified the truth that it's good to not be alone.

laughing (again) at grandson's wedding

A consummate romantic, Gary has put on soft music many times, pulling me in to his arms to slow dance us around the lanai. He's taken me on adventures I've never (ever!!) thought I'd enjoy, he does most of the cooking, and if that's not enough, this man does his own laundry!

To wrap this up, the memories this past week of my move from Colorado to Florida sobered me for a time. But life does go on. We bring joy to God when we make the best of what He allows into our lives. While grief hurts like the dickens, the Lord is not done with us at the grave site. 

He has shown me His compassion for the brokenhearted and given me the desire to dance again. My hope is that the lessons I've learned through these past few years stay with me so I can be of encouragement to others who are in a world of grief.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

In all your ways acknowledge Him

And He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

---------------------------------------------------------

What personal grief has taught me:

- listen to people with not only the ears but with the heart

- don't judge, even if they seem misguided at the time

- give people space to work things out

- forgive those who handle my feelings roughly

- grief is a wound felt most deeply and takes time to get better

- grief doesn't completely go away but the pain lessens over time

- and more ....

Proceeding to Father's Day

 

junk vehicles in New Mexico
(source: FaceBook)

This past week has been a reminder of how un-common common sense is and how forethought is becoming rare. I won't give explanations except to say things seemed as far-fetched as the above snapshot. 🙄 But the past few days have had some highlights. 

Our new furniture was delivered early on Wednesday morning, coming from a warehouse in St. Petersburg. Although heavy rains were dominating the TV news reports from Florida that day, by the time the truck reached our county, all was dry dry dry. We need the rain badly, but it has escaped us almost entirely. So with that said, transporting the couches from the truck to our living room was no problem, for which we were glad.

We now have two love seats made up of a total of four recliners -- VERY comfortable. (i.e. they nap well! 😴) We opted to get the kind that has manual operation (nothing electric) and immediately discovered the store's [well-used] floor model was a lot easier to push down the foot rests than these brand-new pieces. 

shopping in Kane's Furniture

I didn't expect my recliner would be an instrument of body-building, but then, that's not a bad thing, is it?!

Other random purchases were made, including this pretty tray from our community's on-line Marketplace. We have hot beverages nearly every afternoon at 3pm (de-caf green tea for me, and de-caf coffee for Gary). I have been serving the mugs on a plain black tray while casually keeping an eye out for something more attractive. $3. Money well-spent.

I also declared for myself a solitary holiday one afternoon by spending an hour or so in Barnes and Noble. Among other things, my shopping bag held the following:

Here's a thought-provoking quote from page 48: 

"God often allows shaking up to occur 

in our lives for the purpose of 

getting rid of some things that 

keep us from being fully His." 

And there was this on page 46: [regarding how God speaks to us] 

"His pattern is to say things 

more than once, 

in more than one way..."

I've been ruminating over that. In my experience, this has been true.

And this. I enjoy self-help books although I am careful to avoid anything that smacks of new-age or contrary to biblical teachings. When life gets kinda crazy, sometimes I need to be reminded of basic actions (even common sense) I can take to unwind. 

One other  purchase made recently, although not from the bookstore, was a battery-powered neck fan:

I ordered two, one for Gary for Father's Day and one for me. Amazon for about $30. It has 3 speeds, but for the oppressively humid heat we've had recently (sans rain!), the high speed was my choice. It's re-chargeable with the [included] USB cord. I used it on one of our walks in the neighborhood, easily carrying on conversation with Gary (the fan was not too loud), and it was comfortable on my collar bone.

On the eve of Father's Day, this is my segue into the celebration. I was collecting my thoughts to compose this post when Gary came to the doorway to ask if I had ordered something for him. No, but there he was with a large, shoe-box-sized package he had found on our front porch.

It was a bouquet of beef jerky flowers!! Here is a close-up:

Isn't this clever?!!! This is the perfect flower bouquet for a guy! (a "Manly Man").  I've never seen anything like it before but this particular couple has a reputation for great thoughtfulness and the ability to find truly unique gifts. Manly Man Company (click for link to the website) The jerky is delicious! A glass with their logo was included.

The gift came from Tony and Mary on Gary's side of the family. We don't get to see them often enough (which is true of all our family) but when we do, it's always a treat.

While I'm on the subject of Gary's family, this snapshot was taken a couple of months ago when Michael flew down to see for himself that his dad had survived the big surgery. This picture taken after a hearty steak dinner at Long Horn Steak House shows both father and son in great health. Michael calls his dad almost every week, keeping in close touch in spite of the miles between our homes. All of Gary's family are attentive to him and have welcomed me warmly to the family. 

Of course I want to share something about my late husband and the father of my children. He's been gone now for over 3 1/2 years, a fact that still quiets me with a measure of disbelief. Not only is this good man now physically separated from me but I have been transported in other ways different from what I had known for 50 years.

my family

The death of a mate in a healthy marriage alters a person whether they want to be changed or not. In some ways I am not the same person. In other ways I am more of who I am than I ever was before. 

Daddy ~ 1984 or 1985?

I wish that my father could have met Gary. Daddy passed away from cancer at the age of 58 in 1986. He was a good man, a strong Christian, devoted to his family, and an accomplished pilot first with the air lines and then in corporate aviation. I loved and admired him very much. God used him to shape my life for good in many ways.

The Lord has blessed me beyond my imagination with Gary. While we will never have growing children out of our union in our shared home, early in our relationship I admired his loyalty to family and his devotion to me. Even in retirement, he is hard-working and enjoys having projects to keep him challenged. I can tell from the descriptions of his own father that the man was a powerful influence in Gary's work ethic, morals, and family values.

"... a true man is vigilant against danger,

faithful to the truth,

brave in the face of opposition,

persistent through trials, and

above all, loving."

With all of this said, I wish my readers a Happy Father's Day. If your loved ones are still here, enjoy them. If they are not, thank God for how their lives helped shape you into who you are today.

Until next time, grace and peace.