Cheerleaders

'tis the season!

Not only is there water melon on our menu, but this is Father's Day weekend. Actually as I begin composing this piece it is the Saturday afternoon before the holiday. Over the 16 years that I've been blogging, I've written about my father, my late husband, my sons (who are fathers of people) and my son (who is a father to a pair of cats and a mule), my son-in-law, and other significant male contributors to my life. What can I say that I've not already said?

Well, come to think of it, I should give a tip of my sun visor to my two step sons, acquired a little over 3 years ago when I married Gary. So I'll say something here about these 'newcomer's in my life.

April 2025 visit to see us here in Florida

The handsome fellow on the left in the blue shirt with his arm around his wife is one of my step-sons, along with one of his sons (who is celebrating his second Father's Day this year). Step-son is father to 4 adults, grandfather to 3, with one more expected to be born in the very near future (to another of his children, not pictured here). He and his clan live very far away from us in a place where snow has to be shoveled (which is one of the reasons we live in Florida). A hard-working family man, he also loves to hunt and prepare his successes, a hobby he shares with his sons.

All of my faithful readers know that is Gary on the far right in the aqua shirt. Need I say anything more about him? He tells me he used to be a very private person until he met up with me and now he is weekly blog fodder!! (and a really good sport about it)

December 2024 lunch at an "old Florida" themed restaurant

My other step-son lives a couple hours' drive south of us, so visits with him and his wife are a little easier to come by. I share a common fact with them that I was living in Colorado Springs at the same time that they lived there, many years ago. We did not know each other then. Some really serious life changes have come into all of our lives since then. He is a very cheerful soul and always asks if he can do anything to help us out. Young people in his life look to him as a dad and grandpa, so Father's Day is for him, too.

blue Agapanthus in our yard

I'm going to morph from the topic of Father's Day to cheerleaders, which is the title I've given today's post. In 1980 when my father-in-law died, our pastor at the time said such a thoughtful thing that I've never forgot. When we lose a parent, we lose one of the best cheerleaders we'll ever have. 

This can be said of both fathers and mothers. I realize not everybody can agree with this observation, but that is the way it is supposed to be. 

nephew with us at lunch

I want to present some thoughts of others in our life who are cheerleaders (or encouragers), not just parents. We all need people who will give us some measure of approval. 

One of those people surprised us yesterday when my nephew's job brought him to our town for a couple of hours. He sent us a text to ask if we might have time to meet for coffee or lunch. Yes, we did!  It was an actual face-to-face visit with pleasant conversation, very casual, so thoughtful. Something as simple as that tends to urge us on in life.

me with my cheerleaders in April 2018

One of my cheerleaders was ushered through Heaven's Gates earlier this past week. Peggy (second from the right) died of natural causes in her sleep. As my friend's husband said of his father-in-law, "he woke up dead." I do not say that with disrespect but with a hope that will describe my passing (when that day comes -- not making any announcements here!). Peggy was found "asleep" in her recliner, having slipped away easily. 

Peggy and Denise at Garden of the Gods
Colorado Springs
(that's snow-covered Pikes Peak in the background)

We friends grieve her absence, but know we'll laugh with her again one day. In the meantime, we smile to remember the many times the 4 of us (originally 5, but Sandi passed) met to celebrate birthdays, new homes, or just any excuse to meet would do. The 3 of them flew out to see me in Jacksonville and we took them to St. Simons Island, the beach, St. Augustine..... all the while enjoying the long talks, the laughter (lots of that!), and the affirming words we shared when life was HARD.

addressing sympathy cards

Actually, I had reason to mail out two sympathy cards this week. If the fanciful stories about St. Peter manning Heaven's Gate hold any truth, he's been pretty busy!

more of my personal cheerleaders

Speaking of life being hard, I was reminded of how the tough stuff is out there and we should not be terribly alarmed when it happens. I was standing in the lanai just gazing out the window when I realized a two-foot long black snake was racing across that beautiful beige landscaping rock we had installed a few weeks ago. His dark black body was undeniable as it slithered along. 

I yelled for Gary to come, but the "black racer," as the snake is called, had disappeared just as quickly as he arrived. Gone. (Black snakes are considered "good snakes" so we don't kill them. However, if one were to enter our house, all that would change!!)

You know, Jesus told us life would be hard. The snakes are out there, so to speak, so don't be surprised. 

Mr. Cardinal on our neighbor's gutter

I take heart because there are brilliant red Cardinals in life, too. This gorgeous bird doesn't live in Colorado's Front Range, but we have them in abundance here in Florida. 

Flag Day June 14th

Today is Flag Day in the USA. We had a conundrum this morning when Gary was putting our flag out in the front yard. He uses a receptacle for the flag pole that he placed in the lawn years ago but today he absolutely could not find it. We've got that crab grass St. Augustine grass that sends out runners to create a mat of sorts, effectively hiding that receptacle. He poked around for quite awhile with a garden tool in an effort to locate it. Eventually it was found. I took some snapshots to help us remember where it is in relation to the cracks in the sidewalk and the stone terracing. 

Speaking of the American flag, as we all know, times are tough in our nation right now (and in the Middle East, too, of course). I don't get into politics on my blog because I don't want to navigate around all the opinions that would probably show up in the comments section. 

The illustration I'll share may seem a little off-the-wall, but stick with me. We all have opportunities to learn to get along, or how to adjust to change, both for good and what is more challenging. 

The other day while putting together the list for our next grocery trip, Gary announced that we need to buy laundry soap. Okay.

But then he reminded me that when we combined our two households into one, both he and I had a large container of laundry soap: two of the really large containers of Tide. Now, some 3 years later, we are finally low enough on the soap that for the first time we needed to buy more! Ah, the interesting things that arise when people come together!

grocery store water melon prepared by Gary

In the comments after my last post, some of you asked if there was a water melon seed spitting contest at the festival we attended. Actually, it was announced there would be that competition, but all the water melons were of the seedless variety! There was no ammunition for such a contest!

roses together

Wrapping up this edition of My Journal Memories on this Father's Day weekend, I've poked into aspects of relationship with words like cheerleader, friendships, gaining new family through births and marriage, loss through death, wildlife, adapting to change, and more. 

Relationships are perhaps, more often than not, tricky, which is why the really good ones are so special. The dynamics of my own family have undergone some changes in recent years, which has led me to do a lot of research and some interesting conversations. My conclusion is that a true "cheerleader" is not as common as we would like. 

The best counsel I've seen on the matter is this:

Let us therefore make every effort 

to do what leads to peace and

to mutual edification. 

Romans 4:19

Oddly enough, that sometimes needs to be interpreted as a separation or a distancing for the sake of peace. We need to deliberately look for ways to build up and strengthen each other in goodness, doing what we can to avoid division or strife. 

And yes, the statement that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" carries some truth in that from a distance we sometimes can recognize the good that we could not see when we were up close!

Until next time, grace and peace.