A Brief Check-in

 

Aspen leaves at Kenosha Pass, Colorado
September 2024
photo by my son, TJr

Hello friends,

I'm checking in here briefly to say I've not fallen off the face of the earth, although I have been mostly quiet since my last post announcing the passing of my mother. 

We will be attending her funeral this weekend and sometime after that I plan to be back in my usual weekly (or so) blogging habit. All is well; this is just a good time to be quiet, reflective, and still grateful that my mother's suffering has come to an end and to know she is in a wonderful place with our Lord and the loved ones who have gone on before us.

I do want to express my sincere, grateful thanks to all of you who have commented here on my blog, on my Facebook page, via snail mail, text messages, and through emails. We appreciate the thoughtful words and care you have shown to us.

Until next time, grace and peace.

Pausing to Honor My Mother

 

source

There is a time for everything...

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Late last night my mother was ushered through Heaven's Gate. Her death came at the age of 99 years. 

A woman who lived for her Lord Jesus, she led me to know Him when I was very young while she was practicing a flannel graph Bible story for her children's Sunday School class. 

A faithful wife, mother to my sister and me, grandmother to 7, and great-grandmother to 21, she was widowed after 37 years of marriage to my father. She was very independent, took good care of herself and was very active in her church until declining health slowed her down. 

She will be missed but we are all thankful her end-of-life suffering has come to an end. We know she is happy now with our Lord and loved ones. 

Betty Jean 
1925 - 2024

God so loved the world

that He gave His only Son

that whosoever believes in Him

shall not perish

but have everlasting life.

John 3:16

Mid-October in Florida

 

Pumpkins at Publix

As I've pointed out many times over the past seven years, Florida is not the mecca for autumn, but attempts are made, all the same, to celebrate the end of [what seems like] endless summer a never-ending heat wave. One morning this week my town is predicted to reach a low temperature of 58 degrees! I love that!!

The weird thing, however, is that I change my clothes two or three times in one day at this time of year. I begin with ankle-length jeans, by mid-morning it's capri pants, and by lunchtime it's the well-worn Bermuda shorts that I've been wearing since last May (or earlier). Ah well. It's the price I pay for not having to shovel snow. 😄

Thus far, this has not been a particularly easy week. The constant barrage of TV news about the hurricane damage both here in Florida and north of us makes us uneasy, although we were blessedly spared the worst of it BY FAR. 

In recent weeks I traded in my old iPhone SE (purchased in 2020) for a new iPhone 16 Pro. While the phone itself is a delight, with that transaction came some business/financial matters that had heretofore been innocently overlooked. The phone I was trading in had belonged to my late husband, and even though the kids and I thought we had addressed all issues regarding such a transfer of ownership, alas, we had not. The account with Verizon was still in Tom's name and that needed to be changed to ME. Not an easy process. I won't bore you with the details. Some of the blame for that is mine -- I've not been very tech-savvy nor much of a business woman until circumstances in recent years threw me into it. 

I'm learning through this (and many other problems since November 2020) to not get my shorts in a twist (or at least such a tight knot!) when things go awry. Adversity thrives on upsets. Often the expressed angst only gets worse with repetition of the story. 

(blotted name for privacy)

When the cemetery wanted to know what I wanted put on Tom's headstone, I chose Proverbs 3:5, "Trust the Lord." It was a favorite verse of his (actually Proverbs 3:5-6):

Trust in the Lord with all your heart

and lean not on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge Him,

and He will direct your ways.

I have that verse on a small decorative stone beside my bathroom sink and also on a small piece of wood at my desk. It's like Tom's last words to me and believe, me, I ponder those words just about every day. This morning in my daily Quiet Time with scripture, I sensed the Lord speaking to me, 

"You don't have to understand everything but 

I do want you to trust me." 

Even when we don't understand what or why things are happening as they do, the Lord just wants us to trust Him, to trust His loving character. Well, that came in handy just a couple of hours later when I spent 90 minutes at Verizon (again) trying to straighten out matters. Once again, I left the store with an unresolved issue that will be addressed again, soon.

antique accent table

Moving on to a brighter topic (although still bittersweet), I gave this family heirloom to one of my nieces this week. She is actually a niece of my late husband, but in my thinking, all relatives by marriage are my family, too. Anyway, when both of my in-laws had died, Tom and his brother chose which furniture pieces to send home, and we got to keep this beautiful antique table. 

Since coming together with Gary, I have sold/donated/given to my kids nearly all of the furniture Tom and I had accumulated over the 50 years of our marriage, but this was a keeper. However, I have since decided I wanted to be sure this piece went to a place where it would be truly appreciated. My children already have so much of my stuff, so Nancy was the right one for this. Also, her father (who recently passed) grew up with this table in his home, so it was only right that one of his children would end up with it. I miss it already, but we still have enough furniture here, now, that it's actually good to have one less item to vacuum around! 

Before I close out this edition of My Journal Memories, I want to quickly respond to Joyce's Hodgepodge questions for this week, which can be found here. 

1. How did you meet your significant other? If you don't have a significant other, tell us how you met your best friend. 

Gary and me
November 11, 2021

I love responding to this question! A mutual friend here in our +55 community introduced Gary and me. We met (very intentionally on her part) at a Veterans Day flag-raising ceremony in 2021. Natalie had been acquainted with both of us before our spouses died and I guess she felt our two lonely hearts needed to meet! ❤️

2. It's Department Store Day (October 16)...do you still shop in department stores? If not do you miss that kind of shopping experience? Do you have a favorite department store? Any fun memories of department store shopping when you were a child? 

I like shopping in person when the selections are good and so I can try items on before purchase. When I've got $$ to spend and a special occasion in mind, it's a treat to shop at Dillard's. But more often I go to Bealls. Kohl's gets my business but in recent years they've been a little disappointing. 

3. Something you're currently nuts about? 

Lots of things, to be honest. But of late I'm using a new hair product from Sally Beauty Supply:

purchase

My hair is thick but flyaway and often flat, especially when I wear it short, as I do now. This volumizing powder helps a lot!

4. What's your favorite nut and is there a favorite recipe where this nut is used? 

I like all nuts but am partial to walnuts because I've read that's the healthiest nut. 

5. On Wednesday we officially reach the '70 days until Christmas' mark. Have you purchased any gifts? If you don't celebrate Christmas then how about Hanukkah presents? 

Yes, I've already done a significant amount of my Christmas shopping!

6. Insert your own random thought here.  

People, be sure to vote in the November elections. I have read articles saying evangelical Christians, in particular, are deciding to not vote. While some of our choices are questionable (for lack of a better word), it is a privilege to vote and there are issues on the ballots that need our validation even if the people are less than ideal.

And one more thought worth pondering for my Christian brothers and sisters: we are not electing a pastor but a president. Consider that.

Until next time, grace and peace. Oh, one more thing!

These guys know how to have fun!

Happy Birthday to "my" great-grandsons, the Minnesota Twins! (As I said above, in my way of thinking, all relatives by marriage are family, too.)

😉💕🎉

After Hurricane Milton

 

front of our house the day before Hurricane Milton

Hurricane Milton is now well east of us in the Atlantic Ocean. Without doubt I speak for all of Florida when I say he was not a welcome visitor and we are relieved he is gone.

back of our house the day before Hurricane Milton

"They" (whoever that is, probably insurance people) said we should take pictures before the storm in case claims have to be made later. It is with sincere gratitude to the Lord, Maker of Heaven and Earth, that I say "THANK YOU" for sparing us any damage at all, in spite of the most dire of forecasted predictions. 

storm clean-up

Of course, both of our coasts got slammed really hard, as we are all seeing on the TV reports. The above is the only snapshot I've taken related to storm damage. Things look a little ragged compared to the picture above it. I didn't take time to frame it artfully, and this was taken from a farther distance. Look carefully to the right of center to see Gary in the back yard, picking up storm debris (just twigs and branches). 

We had no real damage but the flora and fauna look, understandably, a little "roughed up" for the experience. They look better now, several hours later, with sunshine and a stiff breeze fluffing the leaves, much as a woman would fluff up her hair.

evacuation traffic on I-75

Earlier in the week we drove south to the cemetery for the burial of my brother-in-law. We were surprised to see the amount of evacuation traffic headed northbound. For our trip back home, we took back roads, but that, too, was slow-going due in part to the many cars lined up at gas stations and into the streets, waiting to gas up. 

Let me stop here for a moment to make some comments about evacuating. We should not judge too harshly those who choose to leave and also those who choose to remain. There is a lot to consider either way. It would be wise to make hotel reservations ahead of time, if there is no other place to take shelter. But in the press of storm panic, even those reservations may not be available upon arrival. Then there is the matter of how far does one need to drive from home to get shelter? food? gas? 

And as one wise man told me during my first major Florida hurricane in 2017, returning home after the storm has its perils, too. There is heavy traffic again, of course, and then access to home may not yet be opened up if the damage has been severe, if there are primary bridges to cross, flooding, downed trees and light poles, etc. 

To remain in place at home to weather out the storm may seem safe enough, and perhaps is a deterrent to looters; but as we see all the time on the news, sometimes that proves to be a big mistake when sudden floods or tornados wreak havoc. 

Some people use better judgment than others in these dire circumstances, but we have to just let them do what they think is best and pray for God's mercies on us all.

One of my faithful blog readers who, too, was facing Hurricane Milton sent me this prayer from her Leader of Eucharistic Ministers. I thought it was beautiful and prayed it myself as I read her email:

PRAYER OF PROTECTION DURING A STORM

Loving God, maker of heaven and earth,

protect us in your love and mercy.

Be with us, to still our fears

and give us confidence.

In the stormy waters,

Jesus reassured His disciples

by His presence,

calmed the storm,

and strengthened their faith.

Guard us from harm during this storm

and renew our faith

to serve you faithfully.

Give us the courage to face all difficulties

and the wisdom to see the ways

your spirit binds us together

in mutual assistance.

With confidence we make our prayer

through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen

We put out some sandbags this time, something we've not done in the past. When we went to a sand station to fill bags, it was not yet operating, and since we only needed 3, we just bought the pre-bagged stuff at Lowe's. 

sand bags and patio furniture secured

Something I learned about sandbags: those fibrous bags don't keep forever. They mold after getting wet, so after using them, you're supposed to dispose of them. I wondered why there is such a run on the sandbagging locations with each storm....

The storm was predicted to hit the Gulf Coast south of here around 8:30pm. I will admit I was a little disappointed that the worst of it would be after dark, as it was for Hurricane Helene a couple of weeks ago. 

With all those very tall pine trees lined up behind our house, as well as a 40-feet palm tree, and our master bedroom is on the back of the house, we decided to sleep in the guest room. If any of those trees were to blow down on our roof, our chances of surviving would be better in another part of the house.

We slept soundly through it all. Yes, there was the strong wind and rain on the window, but maybe our mutual hearing losses served us well? 🙄

Hobby Lobby purchase 2021

I keep the above sign where I see it every day. In the depths of my grief a few years ago, as soon as I saw this, I knew I had to buy it. The Lord has indeed taken care of me. 

Thanks to all of you who have asked about us and prayed. 

Until next time, grace and peace.

Hurricane Milton Update

7:30 am Thursday, October 10, 2024

Just a brief report for my blog readers: we slept thru the storm. No damage, all utilities working fine. Still dark outside but I stepped outside and could not see any obvious damage on our street. We'll do another inspection later this morning.

Thank you for praying for us and the encouraging words you have sent our way. 

Hurricane(s) and a Birthday

source

I cannot add anything new to what has already been said regarding the tragedies of Hurricane Helene; but I do thank the Lord for the good that has been done and continues to progress toward recovery. While the government's response has been questionable, it's refreshing to see how the compassion of individuals and church-related groups has really addressed the problems.

Samaritan's Purse photo

There are reputable organizations we can trust to help where we physically cannot. I'm giving a plug for Samaritan's Purse, which is my favorite "go-to" when I want to help people in disastrous circumstances. Samaritan's Purse shows up all over the world when devastating things happen. 

Regarding Hurricane Milton, we are preparing for him with some sandbags. We've not had flooding in the past, but the threshold of our back door has no significant drop to the patio, so we decided this extra precaution would be a good idea. In another day or two, closer to the storm's arrival, we will bring inside those outdoor things that could become dangerous flying projectiles in the wind. 

metal birds in our back yard

In our prep for Hurricane Helene, we brought in the decorative metal birds from our back yard. Sometime after their arrival inside our house, we realized two Gecko lizards had hitched a ride 🤭, presumably clinging to the underside of the metal birds. 

Gary disposed of one of them quickly but the other one escaped into a dark closet. Unfortunately for the unwelcome creature, I found him a couple of days later. He was successfully relocated to the back yard with the help of a fly swatter and a tissue. I cannot tell you if he was alive or deceased.

Moving to a more cheery line of thinking, we celebrated a birthday  this past week. 

I'll let you figure out who it was...

card sent from Sister and brother-in-law

The celebration began a couple of days early when Jersey Girl brought over wonderful cookies from a new specialty shop here in town: Crumbl.

On the heels of that early celebration, one of Gary's friends from his teen years sent a clever card she had made, using a photo from his early days in the Air Force:

card from Corky and Pete

The day before his birthday, we drove over to the Atlantic to see views along the coastal highway between St. Augustine and Ormond Beach. 

Sea Oats, Yucca, and wild grasses

After we (finally) got past all the beach houses and condos, the views got better. There was Marineland and Fort Matanzas, although we stopped only briefly.

In spite of the beautiful day with deep blue skies, puffy white clouds, and a strong surf crashing on the sandy shore, we had decided we didn't want sand between our toes, so we just walked to the edge of the beach.

Continuing to drive south, we eventually came to Flagler Beach, which was in perfect timing with our hunger pangs. 

We saw at least two restaurants right alongside the highway that had upper level dining. Gary chose The Golden Lion Cafe, so after parking the car, we were seated under a bright yellow umbrella and given menus.

We opted for the Fish 'N' Chips. After placing our order, the waiter quipped, "Oh, so you're going to leave here hungry!" ???

When he brought our plates, I realized he had been joking. It was great, and afterward we waddled back to the car.

We passed a realtor's office that provides a water bowl for dogs. The sign says, "Water for your dog or short people with low standards. We don't judge."

We had both packed a small overnight bag in case we would decide to spend a night on the road, but as it turned out, just heading back to the familiarity of home was more appealing..... and that's where the birthday presents were waiting!

Gary's favorite cake is German Chocolate. Sister and her husband sent the cake mix and frosting. He got some gift cards and a framed clock with a nice photo of us.

Personalization Mall

Above the photo is a pewter plate engraved with "Gary and Barbara," and below the picture it says, "Loving our life together." The picture was taken a couple of years ago when we were dressed up for a grandson's wedding. Gary loved the gift and I was so pleased.

Of course I baked his birthday cake. One of us has some dietary restrictions with regard to coconut and nuts, so I frosted the cake with half milk chocolate frosting and half with the traditional German Chocolate frosting. It was a good birthday and my man looks younger than his years.

The other big thing that happened this past week was my purchase of a new iPhone 16 Pro. I took advantage of the ad Verizon is currently running on TV. 

I've been planning for months to replace my iPhone SE, the phone I inherited from my late husband. I've been okay with that, but once again, this proved to be one of those "triggers" I learned about in GriefShare. 

Tom was a patient in the hospital's Intensive Care Unit for three weeks with COVID prior to his death. Since his face was covered with that uncomfortable BiPap oxygen mask, we could not talk on the phone, and with it being deep into the pandemic, I was not allowed to be at his bedside. So for the last 3 weeks of his life, he held this cell phone to communicate with me and our children. 

my new phone

I was glad to surrender the old phone because it was showing its age. I chose a feminine cover to replace Tom's Denver Bronco cover. But even with this beautiful new phone with all its attributes and the pretty cover, I cried bawled most of the way home in the car from the Verizon store. The release of the old phone was another part of letting go of Tom and the 50 years I had with him. 

Gary waits for me at the Verizon store

Gary drove us home with one hand on the wheel and the other holding onto my shoulder as I sobbed. He's such a good man. He understands. He lost his Edith to COVID just a couple of months after Tom passed.

 

We are both grateful to have each other. The Lord has used us to minister to each other's wounds of grief, and beyond that, we love each other so much.

I'll post again after Hurricane Milton has passed us by. Until next time, grace and peace.

Hurricane Aftermath

master bathroom decor

While Gary and I have been spared the worst hits of Hurricane Helene, we have family south of us on the Gulf coast who have described shocking damage less than a mile from their home. 

The destruction they are cleaning up is wind-blown debris, limbs and palm fronds, pine needles everywhere and broken limbs from their white Plumeria tree. They watched the storm water surge 7 feet into their cul-de-sac. Fortunately they needed to use their generator for only a couple of hours. They do not appear to have damage more than that on their property, just a huge mess to clean up.

But they posted more devastating reports very close to their home:

video on Facebook from John's Pass 

report regarding Treasure Island. 

These locations are just a mile away, on the Gulf and barrier islands. This is the area from Clearwater to St. Pete. 

The storm surge was 6-10 feet, depending on the tide that attacked as a fast slam, leaving 6 feet of sand covering the streets. 

North of us, still on the Gulf, where the coastline bends around to the west, which is called Florida's Big Bend area, are much smaller towns, fishing-village-type places, that have buckled into broken sticks. You've surely seen pictures on the TV reports. 

emergency lantern

We live some 60 miles from the Gulf of Mexico, so the effects of Hurricane Helene were not devastating to us. The east side of our town, surprisingly, had more wind damage than us with trees downed over power lines, roads, cars, and fences. 

tree fell through a fence;
photo from Ocala newspaper

Landfall was expected to be around 11pm Thursday night. We headed to bed a couple hours before that, per usual, and slept soundly. Before bed, Gary had pulled out some nifty battery-powered lanterns to keep in the bathrooms for nocturnal visits, and made sure we each had a flashlight on our side of the bed. (I discovered 3 of them in my night table drawer.)

Gary removed from its box his new solar generator (which uses a battery) and set it on the kitchen counter beside our refrigerator, in case the power were to go out.

As it turned out, our power flickered only once, apparently very briefly while we slept, so the generator was never powered up. I think he may have been slightly disappointed it was not necessary to use it but also relieved. 

Living this far inland from both the Gulf and the Atlantic, not close to any rivers or streams, in a concrete block house with underground utilities, and a brand-new roof, well, there were a lot of positives in our favor with this storm. 

But even with that said, there are more storms brewing out in the Atlantic and Caribbean as I type this, so the challenges may not be over yet. Hurricane season traditionally ends on November 30th.

storm debris on a neighbor's driveway

The destruction in our 55+ community appears to have been limited to pine needles, twigs, and broken small branches. A couple of residents have noted damage to their large sliding glass doors that took the full hit of wind. 

We have a CERT group (Critical Emergency Response Team) that gives out a large sign for times like this. After the storm has passed, we are instructed to place the sign in a street-facing window. The green is to indicate we are okay, not needing any help.

The other side of the sign is red, a call for help.

We put our sign in one of the garage windows, the location that is nearest to the street. Gary later saw a woman wearing one of those bright yellow vests trimmed with orange drive past in a golf cart, looking at each house as she sent by. We assume she was with CERT, checking on everyone.  

Thankful as we are for our good outcome, we realize that trouble comes to all people at one time or another. None of us are immune to the hard knocks of life. 

One of my takeaways from this storm is to remember to be gentle to all people as much as possible. Suffering can be very obvious, as when a home is cruelly washed away in the churning surf. Other times, pain is not obvious to the casual observer because it is hid deep inside of us.

This past summer I came across this book by a Christian author that speaks to how we deal with disasters of all kinds. After flipping through it, I decided it may have been written for me, and made the purchase.

purchase information

Quoting the back cover, "When our circumstances unravel, how do we hold on to truth, to hope, to who we're meant to be?" Hardships, as I have learned in recent years, can knock a person off balance, throwing off into odd directions what had only a short time before seemed so firm and secure. 

As per my habit with books I own and don't intend to share, I hi-lite with colored pencils statements that fit me:

blue for trouble, attacks, misbehavior, sin

red for information worth noting

purple describing who God is, what He does

green for what I should do, instructions

This color-coding, as well as handwritten margin notes and sometimes a hasty sketch of something turn my books into a journal, which is why I would rarely, if ever, share some of my books for another to read. But marking up my books this way helps me to easily review important points that are most meaningful to me.

Hurricane Helene brought with it the damage and loss we see on the TV news reports. At the same time, the storm threatened our sense of peace. This author gives "language to the voices that dwell in the deepest chambers of our wounded souls." I highly recommend this book for those who need rest from the mental turmoil brought on by life. 

Jesus told us, "In this life you will have trouble" (John 16:33), but to be encouraged because He has overcome the world. 

Until next time, grace and peace.